Christmas 2014. Mima's house.
Thinking that I'd be even close to fitting everything I have to say on a tiny card with hearts is crazy.
I'm going to ignore the concept of "corniness" and just go ahead and write what I feel. Read it as a journal entry to the public? But mostly an open letter to you, Stewart.
Stewart, if you're reading this out loud in some voice to make me feel embarrassed stop it! I'm sweating just writing this, especially because I haven't written in this blog since July!
Most people know about love because they themselves love. They have this fire inside of them that even science can't figure out. Chemicals? Genetics? Who knows?
But my feelings for you are so so different than that.
I don't just love YOU Stewart
I love every fiber of you.
I love every musky breath that escapes your lips and every hardly audible grunt you make when you're uncomfortable or dissatisfied with a chapter your reading.
How about your scruffy beard and white teeth (which you refuse to agree with me on how perfect they are)?
Your puffy face when you wake up in the morning and grab onto me for dear life because you don't want to open your eyes and start the day yet.
Your soft chuckle and rare boisterous laugh.
I even love your terrible habits like your nail biting and how you constantly pick your skin.
Not because of the act of actually doing it but because those are the things that make you you.
I love how smart you are and how you can read an 800+ page book in three days or less even with a packed schedule!
How about all of the times in the past that lead up to now?
How nervous you were trying to ask me out when we were in high school.
That night at Nay Aug, it had to be Junior Year, when we were walking in the dark and looking at the Christmas lights. You asked if I wanted to ride on the carriage that was drawn by an old horse but I refused because I thought it was expensive and felt bad for the horse.
You didn't say much and it made me nervous so I tried talking about everything and nothing.
We must have walked for about 45 minutes until I began to get cold and we headed back to the car. You kept looking at me and I kept looking away and I swear it was just when you opened your mouth to say something you tripped over that terribly placed wire that held up a stream of lights and flew through the air. It sounded like a little plop as you hit the ground and when you looked up at me with those embarrassed eyes I laughed so hard I thought I would die.
Your face turned a darker shade of red than the scraps on your hands and legs!
From website link (https://sites.scranton.edu/sarahmueller/2013/12/)
How about the very first time we had an actual conversation?
It was freshman semi and you were sitting alone at a table with a miserable scowl on your face. That was your first year at Old Forge. The white table clothe in front of you was glowing pink and yellow because who ever planning the event thought it would be a good idea to let our class have glow sticks.
I asked you what was wrong and you pointed to your date who was dancing with someone else and then to the sole of your shoe which was hanging onto the bottom lining.
Me, being the weirdo I was back then, asked if you wanted my gum to wedge into your shoe. I told you it would definitely keep that shoe in one piece.
You politely declined but I insisted. After all, I had to have nearly an entire pack in my mouth.
You never did take that gum.
I remember coming home and telling my mom about the boy with the broken heart and shoe to match. I referred to you as the new kid never knowing we'd be best friends just two years later.
Cinemark Parking lot with the O6. (group name courtesy of Seth.)
Sophmore Year of High School
We'd be kicking silver balloons around a nearly empty dance floor because who would come to a sober event in Bloomsburg on a Friday night?
The tempo of the music we were dancing to would get faster and faster and you'd lift your hands up in anticipation of whatever came next. I'd be dancing just in front of you and waiting for the hilarious move you were going to pull off not knowing you would bring your hand down as hard as you can, perfectly matching the house music drop, onto my hand and destroy the tendon that ran from my palm to each of my fingers.
I know you still get upset about the fact that you even remotely hurt me but it's not the hurt that I think about it's the time we spent in the hospital together.
You apologized constantly as the nurses treated me terribly and denied me an x-ray.
When I finally talked my way into the ER you refused to leave my side and held onto my good hand with tears in your eyes.
How gentle you are.
Great Gatsby Galla at Bloomsburg university. 2014
A little party never hurt (except it totally did)
That same year, but in the second semester I'd be in the same ER fighting off a terrible case of food poisoning and being treated terribly but the same crew of nurses. They didn't believe I was sober and after throwing up so violently and freezing in that terribly cold room I would prefer to not be.
Yet again, you stayed by my side for hours without complaining once.
In fact, we even took some videos laughing at the state I was in.
"They took my bra. :["
And I know that if we didn't ignore the signs before we actually had the chance to date maybe we wouldn't have had such a rocky road but driving on that road with you makes it all the less terrible.
Construction takes a while but if you're sitting in the car with good music and good company than the wait it worth wild.
Thank you for letting me be your passenger for all of these years.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for everything.
I love you so much!
Happy Anniversary!
No, this wasn't really how we started dating.
Yes, he sighed for a good 20 seconds after the video was over.
A Few Smiles :]
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