You love. You love so hard that it feels like your heart will either fly out of your chest or sink to your toes. When you speak to your lover it's like you have your own language. A special collection of your favorite words and sounds made just for your ears. The way they walk towards you always seems like they're running. You strive to look your best so when he/she glances at you for even just a second you'll look just the way they like. You lay next to them and drink in their smell. You close your eyes and feel their warmth. It's so special, it's all so beautiful. So much more beautiful than anyone else has ever described.
And now it's over. The moment you find out that heart that held so much love drains out so quickly you begin to shake. Words crash into each other and you try to speak but there is no way even making a sound will help. This doesn't make sense. This doesn't make sense at all. They would never do that. They would never do that to me. It's impossible. I know them. I know them better than anyone else.
Anyone who has ever been cheated on, abandon, or replaced holds onto that love that they shared with their partner. Which is strange because you would think that hatred would just overcome someone in this sort of situation but in my person circumstance I hated myself more than anyone else. All of the good memories are washed over with some strangers face. Your lips on his and then his on hers. Your lips on hers and hers on his. Your lips on his and his lips on his. Your lips on hers and hers on hers. It hurts the same. We all hurt the same.
I hated how easily it was to be replaced. How simple it seemed to say goodbye.
Dreams become filled with terrible images of them smiling and laughing at you, your heart crawls to your throat and strangles you whenever you see this person now, whether it be the cheater or the one he/she cheated with. It won't go away and it's everywhere.
Sometimes you cry so hard it doesn't feel like you will ever stop and other times you can't cry at all and you hate yourself for it.
Depression sets in.
Your weight drops
You turn pale
You don't want to get out of bed.
Your grades sink.
Your work becomes nothing but a signature.
You go to bed thinking about it. The sun sets. The sun rises. You wake up thinking about it.
No one else understands.
No one else knows.
And it truly does feel that way. It honestly feels like you're screaming in a room crowded with people and no one is bothering to look your way. Our love was so deep. Our love was so pure.
But honestly, and just hear me out, if someone left you for someone else after you've given them your everything then maybe you should take some of that everything and give it to someone else because you are not worth that. You are worth so much more. And for you to be feeling the way you are about it means that you were the one with the heart in the relationship. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MATTERED. So now you take the time to plug your heart into the wall and recharge because you need all of you to find someone who matters just as much as you do.
Good luck on your adventure.
