Mom I want to be a porn star.

    Even at an early age we are asked the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and let's get serious.... has little Emily with the blond pigtails ever looked up at you with a smile and say "Mommy, I want to be a porn star?" I'm not bashing on porn stars just keep reading!

And if Emily has answered that question with that specific answer oh boy you better click that seat belt in because you are on the fail train and reality is a giant wall that your going to painfully eat sh*t on.

At an early age I knew what I wanted to be. I had my mind set to be an artist and if I was asked as to what my future occupation was when I was older I would say a painter, or a sketch artist but honestly I didn't know either of those words so I would probably say something along the lines of "a colorer...er?"

and hey, we all have our dreams. 

My brother wanted to be a firetruck. When my mom used to parade him around she would have to explain to all of her coworkers that he was a young boy with a big imagination but the week after he would suddenly change his mind and want to be a lawyer. Good for him!  The little truck who could. Please don't hurt me Eric.

But as senior year approaches and college offers start piling up I don't know whether to be happy or sad. It's like drinking a nice cup of warm tea in the morning but after you're finished with the tea you have to go to the bathroom. Oh NO!, to get to the bathroom you have to walk up allll of those stairs. (About 30 years of horrible hardworking stairs). Finally when you get to the bathroom a nicely dressed man kicks you in the jewels and you fall down the stairs only to start slowly walking up again.



This adds pressure. What if I end up going to a college that I don't like. What if I end up wasting my money learning something I don't like. What if I can't pay off my loans? What if I really do have to become a firetruck? *cough.How did that get there?

So this is what I have in mind. Bend the system until it breaks in two. Go for what I want instead of what I think will "benefit me". Meet people who are interested in things that I am interest in. Shake hands and smile....and mean it! Because if you play your cards right and always wake up smiling (ohgawdthisisgettingsappy) then chances are your mind frame will be a lot bright and wider and you'll be able to love your irreversibly short life! YAY!



-------- and a bit of Korean for the road.