Thursday, February 20, 2014

How to know if you think like an Old Forge high schooler.


Note to self: Stay away from middle stall in upstairs girls bathroom.
Shout out to all of the girls with a crooked nose.

"I have to go to the bathroom."
Okay give me your pass, take this foam slip, sign this book, sign the hall monitors book. Do you have your license and registration? And are you sexually active? A legal citizen of the US, right? Okay now do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around. Smack that, all on the floor, smack that, give me some more. Knick Knack Paddy Whack give a dog a bone.... annnd you're good to go.

Getting up to sharpen a pencil in the middle of class and everyone stares at you.
Girls *thinking to self* "Don't look at my butt. Don't look at my butt. Don't look at my butt."
Boys *Out loud* "DATTT ASSSSS." *Jock high fives

School uniforms.
2009 - Khakis and a blue shirt.
2014 - Solid undershirt, certain shirt and pants color, no backless shoes, no yoga's (on the only dress down days we have!), bllllah blllahhh blaaaahhhhhhh.

Virtually no dating.
We've grown up together since kindergarten. Between then and now We've been around the block with enough people to know that Old Forgers don't mesh well with other Old Forger's.

Come to school wearing red and being bugged about it all day.
RIVERSIDE COLORS! *GASPPPPP
I like River Side, shhh don't tell.

Hall monitor outside of the bathroom?!
Can he hear me peeing? Now I can't go. Does he think I'm taking too long? Now I really can't go!

We have a trout club?
And I signed up for it? Oh.

The guys finally shave their facial hair.
Soooo where is the high school library exactly?
*shrugs


"NO HOODIES OR JACKETS IN SCHOOL!"
So why does it feel like I'm taking my midterm in the middle of the arctic butt ass naked?
*penguin waddles by.

Peeking at your schedule the first week of school and praying to every god you can think of that you don't get a certain math teacher.
Contestant: Big bucks, big bucks, no wammy no wammy!
*screen shows teacher.
Contestant: I have her first and second period!!?
Announcer: DOUBLE WAMMY!

The smaller the girl the bigger the car.

New kid? AND HE'S NOT WHITE!?
Can I touch you?

I didn't know it was socially acceptable to date girls who can't legally sit in the front seat of an SUV.
But she likes Justin Bieber so it's okay. Her standards don't seem to be too high. Ohh, I went there.

Why isn't my locker opening?
This isn't my locker is it...

Late lunch period so you're always hungry. Your stomach starts communicating with you during class. 
Oh god, please don't look at me.

That dialect though...
Old Forger : "Hey, you gunna eat your hoagie? I'll trade you it for a whimpey."
Non Old Forger : "I don't know what either of those things are but okay."

Excuse me while I check my hair in the trophy case.

Principal: "And I don't want to see your phone hanging out of your pocket!"
*Shoves Iphone in bra.
*Left boob vibrates.
Friend "What's up with your-,"
Me "Shhh. Just let it be."

Thinking of the funniest senior prank.
Other senior " What's the prank this year?"
Me: Please don't say the bowling ball. Please don't say the bowling ball.
Other senior 2 " Probably the bowling ball."
Me "....."

Don't worry about figuring out how to pay taxes or find a job! You have to learn the Pythagorean Theory!

"I'm graduating and never coming back!"
Calls mom during first week of college and cries like crazy while eating 40 pounds of chocolate ice cream.

Why does the ISS room not have windows?

Or is this a high security Russian prison?

No printer paper. No ink. Laptops take 20 minutes to boot up.
"Why isn't your assignment in on time!??!?"

Get your filthy feet off of the back of my chair, you're getting boot prints on my jeans.
*mumbles.* Free loader...

Wait... I have to use a certain door to leave? There are ten doors right there!!!


Nearly falling down the stairs while looking out the glass window on the steps.

WHO TOOK MY PARKING SPOT AGAIN!?!?!?
FFFUuuuuUUUUUUUU AHHHHH!!

Getting 1 detention
-No 10 points on midterm
-No skipping midterm
-No free dress down
-No 10 points on final
-No skipping final
-Do not pass Go
-Do not collect $200



*Walks into seventh grade class.
WOW. Why does it smell so bad in here?

I'm going to go to the elementary and visit all of my old teachers!!
....wait who are you people? Where did all of my teachers go?

You know the story about the ghost who lives under the stage in the auditorium because Mr. Sylvester will never teach a new class without telling the story.

Forgetting your protractor for class and getting detention. Then liking detention more than class.

All the Italians think they can speak Italian fluently.

Teachers call you by your last name more than your first.

You can smell gossip a mile away.

The graffiti in the girls locker room makes fun of a girl who hasn't gone to our school in three... maybe four years.

When the teacher open their mailbox in the wall you can see them through the holes in the office.
*waves awkwardly.

You can see the cheerleaders cringe at every wrinkle the posters have on the walls.
Don't mess around with them guys! They work hard on those.

Oh don't mind me I'm just going to get some hand sanitizer from this wall dispenser here...
Dispenser falls apart, smacks you in the face, get's sanitizer all over you.
"Yup, germ free."

Teacher : "Oh you're a fast reader? Guess who can read the entire book out loud!"
You!





If you agree with any of these send them out and have a laugh!
-Amber






No comments:

Post a Comment